Deleted the majority of my Fire Emblem fic. (It was all Elibe stuff.) I left the Archanea stuff because I still have attachments to Archanea and that's some of my best stuff for FE, so that can stay.

The rest of it I let go.

I had 116 stories, now I'm down to 80. There's still more I may get rid of.

I will not touch Gundam Wing, Weiss Kreuz, or Smash Brothers stuff (unless the Smash Brothers stuff is really terrible). I will never delete Melee Academy. Even after all these years, it's still one of my babies.

All of my Fire Emblem Elibe stuff is gone. You can find it still on Dearest Disclaimer, but it's off my FFN account. Most of my Zelda stuff is gone or going as I get reviews for things.

In the past I was wary to get rid of things because of sentimental attachment, because of the amount of reviews, because of whatever. I still have copies of these things, it's not like I'm deleting them forever, so it's easier to let things go. And if someone is disappointed, they can still read these things. Just not on my FFN account. My FFN account is for things that I'm especially proud of that I want the public to see (that isn't just smut).

I'll have fics to post in the future on FFN to replace the ones I got rid of.

Nope. No apologies. I do have PMs from people asking where things went, if FFN deleted these things or if I did. It was all me. I couldn't look at these things anymore. I'm not coming back to those fandoms, I'm not updating/revising these things, and the only way to drive that point home is to nuke it.

Yep.

I feel a lot better now.

There was a meme on tumblr where someone would send me a character name and I'd have to answer questions about how I felt about them, etc. They kind of got a little meta-y, so I decided to put them here too, because why not.



( Gundam Wing characters )

...if you want any elaboration on any character (or want my opinion on other characters), I guess just comment and I'll answer them.

I kind of suck at updating this thing, don't I? Mostly because I forget about it, despite remembering that I post fanfiction on here. I still journal, just in an actual journal because a lot of my thoughts lately are too private to share anymore and if I posted half of these things I'd have to explain certain things.

And on my plurk which is limited to just my support group (basically) consisting of my girlfriend and my Tag Family I'm trying to figure out how to explain said thing. I won't talk about it here ever probably because everyone knows I'm crazy to begin with we do not need to have you think that I'm really crazy or something like that.

Often on here I don't know what to talk about because I have a tumblr where I do my fandom thing and then I have plurk where I...do my RP and fandom thing. (And I RP on tumblr as well.)

What have I been up to lately? Nothing all that exciting. I opened up fic requests (which will be closing on Monday). Contemplating signing up for Camp NaNo in April, but I don't know. I recently posted one of the finished requests over on my fic DW, which I don't think anyone here will be interested in because it's Gundam Wing.

Well no wait I lied because I have Dusty on here (and Plurk, and Tumblr...). He would care. ASIDE FROM HIM THOUGH.

I've wanted to kind of use this thing for meta purposes or something but I either do that stuff on tumblr (surprise, surprise) or Plurk because it's also Gundam Wing related (what a surprise). And I don't think anyone on here (excepting Dusty) cares about my thoughts on Heero and whatever so that's why it's on tumblr (where my followers are into Gundam Wing) or plurk (where everyone is in that fandom as well).

So I still have no idea what the hell to use this journal for. I guess if there's anything people want me to talk about I could always make a post or something.

Like maybe when I'm not a lazy asshole I'll do a write up (with pictures) of my Gundam Wing bluray box sets, but ideally I want to wait until I get my Endless Waltz one so I can make a thing and keep it all together. I don't know. Maybe if I can get through a formal write-up of the audio commentary without bogging it down with all the fanboying and shit, I can do a proper write up.

(How do you expect me to do a proper write-up of something where they spend 90 percent of a 24 minute episode making fun of Zechs' mask, Treize's fashion sense, and the fact that Koyasu Takehito forgot Zechs had a sister?)

Besides that, I can put as many images as I want in a post (whereas I have a photo upload limit on tumblr) and I promised Hiiro when I ordered the box sets that I'd take pics and do a write up so I really should do that at some point. I'll probably post it here and just link it on tumblr since that would be the easiest thing to do, and then just tag her on tumblr for it.

I planned on doing meta for a while but I...ended up forgetting >.> beginning of last month I celebrated eleven years in Gundam Wing fandom and I wanted to do something special for it and I never did so I don't know. I might do that at some point. Who knows.

anyway yeah that's about it for this entry I guess. I know, not really a lot to say compared to have I used to be, posting thousands of words daily but my life isn't all that exciting and Plurk and Tumblr have spoiled me so I really don't have the attention span anymore to be sat on a chair typing up meta posts and stuff. Maybe that'll change. Who knows.

Maybe one day I will bore you all half to death with meta about teenage boys who wear spandex shorts or something idk.

I always said I wouldn't be "one of those writers", the kind that deleted fics and shit no matter how bad or embarrassing.

Well, I say a lot of shit.

Starting some time in March I will be deleting a plethora of old fics. Basically anything from Weiss Kreuz and onward is safe. Everything else is up for deletion with some exceptions (Melee Academy will never be deleted).

Most likely anything from Archanea will be safe. Most of my Elibe fic (if not all of it) will probably be going. Most of my Zelda stuff will be going. Anything I deem "pure crap" will be going.

"Karu, what prompted this?" asks a disembodied voice.
Nothing really, I just decided to do it, and I've been mulling it around for a long time anyway, and now I have even more incentive to clean house. All of my fics are housed at Dearest Disclaimer, and those will not be deleted, because DD is meant to be a complete archive of everything I've done. It's getting off my FFN though because I don't want to look at these things anymore. It's a spiritual cleansing, if you will.

I don't know. I've been posting fic online since 2003, and most of those fics (in fact, all of them) are gone and I never regretted it. If you want to see how I've grown as a writer, you can read DD from beginning to end. I want my FFN to house things that I deem at least "presentable".

Yep. So. There it is.

"Are you taking things down to rewrite them?"
No.

"Are you replacing things you've deleted with other things from those fandoms?"
No. Anything I'm deleting is from a fandom I don't write for anymore and have no intentions of writing for again.

"What if a fic is popular?"
Read it on Dearest Disclaimer. My FFN profile is not a complete archive of my work.

"What if there are things you've written for me/someone?"
It's on Dearest Disclaimer. I crosspost everything. If you really want me to leave it up, I will. I probably will anyway because my gift fics often showcase some of my best writing.

But yeah that's about it. I figured I'd post somewhere about it so that, you know, no one thought that they got reported or that FFN deleted them or that your monitor/computer screen was acting up. Do not adjust your computer screen, everything is fine.

EDIT: I deleted some of the fics I absolutely couldn't stand any longer today, so if my FFN profile number looks like it's 16 numbers lower than it should be, you would be correct and deletions are the cause.

There are fics I am not sure about whether or not to leave them up, so I'll let them sit and if I get sick of them, I'll get rid of them.

Total number of completed stories: 28 apparently, which I guess isn't that bad

Total word count: 74,567. Not counting things I haven't posted yet.

Fandoms written in: Gundam Wing.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?
I definitely wrote more than I ever thought I would for this fandom. I did a great deal of writing for it (that isn't posted because it's not done yet) that's also RP, so overall I've been a lot more productive than I thought. (Especially as far as NaNo is concerned, because I actually finished!)

What’s your own favorite story of the year?
uhhh if I really had to pick just one...? Probably little death. (Of course Karu picks the smut fic.)

Did you take any writing risks this year?
NaNoWriMo is always a risk. That aside, I killed off two major characters in a fic and murdered people's feels in the process. :D

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?
Always.

My best story of this year:
...isn't this like favourite story? ...well then again sometimes my favourite fic isn't necessarily the best written...
Death Cannot Divide Us, which is that fic where I killed off two major characters and murdered people's feels in the process.

My most popular story of this year:
I guess in terms of reviews? Both Thank You for Asking and Possessive have seven reviews each, but honestly my most popular fic is the one I've been talking about but haven't posted yet; it's in RP form currently. (That would be Hit List of Debts.)

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:
I don't really have one...?

Most fun story to write:
THERE ARE SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM BUT I will go with Let It Snow because I absolutely loved the prompt and it was a blast to write from one of my favourite RP 'verses. (That makes it sound like I have a lot. I only have like...three? Four?)

Story with the single sexiest moment:
beautiful mess maybe

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:
Reminds Me of Home maybe...? Basically sums up part of Heero and Duo's dynamic for me. I think.

Hardest story to write:
Let the Sun Fade Out, which I didn't post because it's my NaNo and therefore looks like shit, just because it's extremely AU. Otherwise, Death Cannot Divide Us because I had two kill of MY TWO FAVOURITE PILOTS.

Most Unintentionally Telling:
I don't know what this means. (Am I even awake enough for this meme?)

Biggest Disappointment:
Despite writing for a.) Gundam Wing and b.) arguably the most popular pairing in aforementioned (1x2) I didn't really get a lot of feedback from anything. Except on tumblr. So I guess my biggest disappointment was just in general, the fact that Gundam Wing fandom's kind of...drifted off. Which I knew (they're on tumblr. I'm not even joking), but still.

Biggest Surprise:
Any feedback I get on any of my stories is a surprise to me, okay?

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
Gundam Wing, for the express reason of "because my Heero is too not-fanon for anyone to give a shit." And look, people enjoy my Heero. (They didn't back in the day, but all of those assholes are probably gone.) I WROTE 1x2x4. I WROTE EVEN MORE THREESOMES (1x2x3). Let the Sun Fade Out has implied 13x1 and 6x1.

Choice Lines:
idk I really like this one from Death Cannot Divide Us (which I used for the summary):

He placed the barrel of the gun under his chin and slightly to the side and said, "Wait for me," before squeezing the trigger.

From Unsent Letters:

I should've chased after you, he thinks, even though he knows it's too late for regrets. He watches the ashes smolder in the basin of the sink, watches the smoke dance and twirl in the air. Smoke can supposedly cleanse rooms, cleanse houses, cleanse souls, but why does he never feel like he's completely free? Why can't his soul be cleansed of all these memories?

and

He takes up the pen and paper and writes another letter, hoping to pass the time until sleep decides to take him away for a few hours. It begins with "Dear Duo", ends with "please help me", but he scratches that out, because he's Heero Yuy, and Heero Yuy doesn't need help. Except that he does. He rewrites it to sound less desperate, unsure why he's bothering because this letter, like all the others, goes without being sent.

and

Just the two of us, Heero thought, a worn out bear, and a suitcase filled with unsent letters, broken hearts, and painful memories.

From Slip of Paper:

Heero realizes with a frown, as he sits on the bed opposite the one Adie's claimed, that it doesn't hurt. It doesn't and it hasn't. Isn't it supposed to?

and

He reaches for the ceiling, picturing his face, every detail still as vivid now as it was two years ago, trying to caress his cheek before running his fingers through that hair...

Heero sighs and lets his arm fall. He feels like a fallen angel, reaching for salvation from God and unable to ever attain it. He's not sure why he feels like that. He's not entirely sure he can even describe it. He just feels...

Lost.

and

He's never this nervous. He's never been this nervous. Heero Yuy the Perfect Soldier, nervous? He laughs under his breath. Heero Yuy the Perfect Soldier is dead—as far as he's concerned, he died with Zero in Brussels.

honestly we'll be here all day if I list ALL OF MY CHOICE LINES fjiowehrfdk

Yep, I'm doing NaNo. You can find me right here if you want to add me and see my progress. Right now I'm just trying to plot things out and have a kinda-sorta-outline-like-thing.

I promised tumblr I would create a NaNoWriMo resources list of shit I use during NaNo that I found useful.

I TOLD MYSELF I WOULD OUTLINE THIS YEAR (and I've said this in years past too and look at how that happened) after reading a book on the different ways to outline, and... That's what I'm doing now. Using yWriter 5, which you can also write your whole project in, but I plan to mostly handwrite my NaNo and then type it up at the end of the day/week/whatever. I use Evernote for things like fic ideas and RP ideas to begin with, so I started a notebook for NaNo stuff.

There's also Pacemaker, which sets up a little daily word count goal schedule for you. I chose the "random" one for funsies and because I don't write the same amount every day, so this fits me much better than the 1667 daily word count goal.

I'm doing all of my plotting and outlining and research now (or as much of it as I can do in advance).

I kind of entertained the idea of doing something that wasn't We All Fall Down, but I decided not to because pffft then I'd have to do extra work in figuring out how the hell you crossover Gundam Wing and Weiss Kreuz for humour purposes where the majority of the fic will be everyone remarking, "Wow, you sound like so-and-so, that's weird," and Crawford and Duo losing track of who's talking to who in an argument between Heero and Schuldig. And how it would escalate to a fist fight that Heero would probably win if Schuldig wasn't so fast (but Heero probs matches his speed with his reflexes), so it'd end up being a gun fight and there'd be all sorts of insults and then I'd have to figure out if Schuldig's telepathy would even work on Heero who mastered ZERO and thus mind-fuckery probably wouldn't work.

And then Schuldig would just cheat and have Nagi throw him through a wall. Unless Nagi is basically "fuck you you did this to yourself you get yourself out of it," which would probably be a smart idea.

I would be more interested in seeing Heero fight Crawford because ZERO and precognition are kind of similar so Heero could just think it was that and fight accordingly and ugh why do I want this so much that I'm TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT.

I should write this just so Schuldig can finally shut up and get the "screen time" he so desperately keeps screaming about and getting into arguments with Heero about. Maybe my headspace would be quiet. (That's a laugh because Schuldig never shuts up in the first place.)

...can I have two NaNos...?